TT No.35: Andy Gallon - Sat 28th August 2010; Team Northumbria v Whickham; Northern League Div Two; Res: 0-1; Att: 46 (h/c); Admission: £3; Programme: 50p (8pp); FGIF Match Rating: *** 

 

 

Matchday images (25) http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/footballgroundsinfocus/TeamNorthumbriaFC

 

There isn’t any shortage of historic, significant and (that word again) iconic football grounds in the Northern League; venues which should be on every serious hopper’s ‘must see’ list. But the Coach Lane Sports Complex, home of student side Team Northumbria is not, and never will be, one of them. Put simply, there’s nothing here to enthuse about. Well, not quite. It’s a lovely pitch - flat, lush and tended lovingly by the sort of qualified ground staff higher education can afford. And that’s it. Oh, except the tea’s not bad. I suspected as much all along, which is why, when it came to ‘completing the Northern League set’, I left Team Northumbria to last. I’d advise anyone else working their way through this superb competition to do the same.

 

A little harsh? Maybe. Let’s get the ground description out of the way. It won’t take too long. The ground is part of a multi-million pound Northumbria University (please don’t get me started on former polytechnics masquerading as universities) set-up in the east Newcastle suburb of Benton. The surrounding buildings, modern architecture at its worst, are aesthetically frightful. Is this, in the 21st century, really the best we can do? Most of the structures, lots of glass and white paint, appear to be some 1960s person’s idea of what the future might look like. The players get changed in the adjacent sports centre, from whose reception admission tickets and the laughably poor programme (no meeja studies students in the home squad, then) are available. Loos are in here, too, which, irritatingly, means having to leave the ground for a pee. The turnstile admits to a surfaced area on the west side of the ground. A wooden pay hut has been made redundant, but the team sheets are pinned obligingly against it. Hard against the blank brick wall of the sports centre is a kit stand. With four rows of red plastic tip-up seats, it is seemingly positioned to provide the worst possible view of the action. Set back 15 yards and well off-centre is never a winning option. If you’re going to have a stand, why not put it where it’s going to be useful?

 

The rest of the ground consists of flagged hardstanding. Ooh, so exciting. It’s all right on a sunny, though breezy, afternoon, but watching football here in the middle of winter must be a gruesome experience, which possibly explains why Team Northumbria’s crowds are so sparse. Many of today’s attendees were from Whickham. The rest seemed to be mums and dads of students either unable or unwilling to leave home. That North East umbilical cord; it’s hard to sever. The gorgeous pitch is surrounded by railings. There are plastic dug-outs either side of the halfway line on the east side. The floodlights are masts, with three strung out along each touchline. Even the goalposts have wheels mounted on them, adding to the air of semi-permanence. Behind the goal at the south end is scrub, in which balls kept getting lost. A couple of guys spent most of the match searching fruitlessly among the undergrowth. Must be something to do with the cuts to higher education budgets we keep reading about. Hideous modern buildings fringe the south and east perimeters, with floodlit artificial pitches to the rear of the north end goal.

 

At least it was an absorbing contest. Whickham scored early on, then lost their best two players, Ross Peareth and Sam MacIntosh, to injury before 37 minutes had elapsed. The visitors decided to put up the shutters and produced a masterclass in how to defend a one-goal lead. Team Northumbria, who had won all three of their league games before this fixture, couldn’t find a way through the massed Whickham ranks. Trench warfare sprang to mind. The hosts played some pretty football, but tippy-tappy stuff and attractive triangles in your own half are never going to hurt anyone. Whickham just let them get on with it, then closed down the home players once the ball entered the third of the pitch they were defending. Eventually, Team Northumbria simply ran out of patience and ideas, and resorted to the long ball. Which doubtless thrilled the Whickham lads. That’s when you know the game’s up for the opposition.

 

The solitary goal, in the 14th minute, was beautifully engineered. Peareth made space cleverly on the right side of the box, and pulled back a low ball for the onrushing Craig Hodgson, who, without breaking his stride, sidefooted a confident 16-yarder past keeper Andrew Jennison. Whickham really ought to have been ahead two minutes earlier. MacIntosh, impressive on the left wing before being forced off moments before half-time, crossed to the back post, where the unmarked Tony Thirkell headed against an upright from 12 yards. The net appeared to shudder, but the referee waved play on. Team Northumbria, despite their thoughtful approach, were restricted to shooting from range. Matt Hill, Graeme Carrick and Mark Bertram all had a pop, without threatening to beat keeper Scott Cresswell.

 

The second half was akin to the park game of ‘attack and defence’ we played as kids. It was - literally - a pain in the neck. Despite all their possession, Team Northumbria created just two decent chances. Cresswell did well to block Hill’s shot in a one-on-one after the home striker had harassed right-back Kris Allen into a mistake, while substitute Dean Critchlow failed to connect properly from six yards with the goal at his mercy. Whickham, always a threat on the break, should have put the issue beyond doubt with nine minutes left. Allen sent a probing cross over to the far post, but Thirkell placed a free header wide.

 

So, seven days after watching Midland Alliance club Heath Hayes lose for the first time this season, we looked on as Team Northumbria’s perfect record went up in smoke. Perhaps we should consider hiring ourselves out to teams playing high-flyers. One of the great football clichés is that league tables mean nothing before at least 10 games have been played. How true. Team Northumbria were joint leaders before kick-off, but I’d put money on Whickham, more street savvy, finishing higher up the Second Division of the Northern League than they will. But don’t rush to the Coach Lane Sports Complex. If I’ve been to a duller ground, I can’t remember where.

 

contributed on 29/08/10