TT No.15: Andrew Gallon - Tuesday, 14th August 2007; Stapenhill v Boldmere St Michaels; Midland Alliance;   Res: 1-1; Att: 85; Admission: £4; Programme (16pp): £1; FGIF Match Rating: ***

Life is full of surprises. Previous visits to Burton-on-Trent, a forlorn place whose best years appear to be in the past and a town centre which is a model of unsympathetic redevelopment, had done little to inspire. But neighbouring Stapenhill, I discovered, is rather different.   Chalk and cheese are separated by the Trent Washlands, where the mighty river splits into several smaller streams. It's a flood plain; something, after the events of the 'summer', I hardly dare mention. The main water flows alongside the Stapenhill bank, once the site of an umbilical cord ferry crossing until commonsense and sheer demand led to the building of bridges. At the end of the newest are Stapenhill's finest features: the soaring stone tower of handsome St Peter's Church - visible for miles around - and the wonderful ornamental gardens.   Now constant gardener Alan Titchmarsh and I share only the same county of birth but even a horticultural novice like me knows a decent flower bed when he sees one. The gardens do exactly what it says on the tin, and rather well. Colour explodes from every angle, brightening what is a prematurely dark afternoon. The swan, logo of the district, and of the football club, lies at the heart of the waterside display; a dazzling white beast packed with brilliant blooms. Civic pride clearly abounds, which, given the apparent lack of it in Burton, seems strange. If there is such a thing as a 'roundabout in bloom' competition, allow me to enter the one in the village centre. Magnificent.   As you'd expect, the football ground is away from these delights. Up a steep bank, on to a plateau and through a post-war council estate whose orderliness will never quite disguise the functionality of its architecture. Down Sycamore Road and left into Maple Grove (passing streets in between named after just about every species of tree), the Edge Hill ground comes into view. First impressions are not especially favourable but they prove, happily, completely misleading.   An unmade lane leads through a gateway into the car park - part dirt, part aggregate, part grass. The social club, built in the 1980s but looking much older, to the left is losing chunks of its whitewash. The atmosphere is one of drabness and the need for a lick of paint and a spot of Titchmarshesque weeding overwhelming. Inside, it's quite a contrast. A really tidy enclosure with several interesting features.   An S bend takes you through the neat turnstile area and out into the bottom left-hand corner of the ground. To the left is the social club and three generations of changing accommodation. The original wooden pavilion, there since the ground opened in 1954 but not used for the last five years or so, is a joy to behold. It's the sort of structure you'd expect to find in village cricket, complete with verandah, white railings and steps. A joy to behold. The fact it's tacked on to the social club, so making demolition that much more tricky, probably explains its survival. The social club is cavelike - low ceilinged and gloomy, with pennants, rather than stalactites, hanging from the walls. It's also very quiet; a level of business not helped by this fixture clashing with Burton Albion's attractive Blue Square Premier home game with York City.   Walking past the pavilion, and lurking behind a wire mesh fence, is the present dressing room block. It's from a blander school of design and is, essentially, a red-brick box. Further down the evolutionary scale is the changing area for the match officials - a converted container painted white. The adjacent main stand was reroofed during the summer as part of work necessary for the 2006-07 Leicestershire Senior League champions to regain their place in the Midland Alliance, of which Stapenhill were founder members. The stand is a smart structure, decked out in the club's red and white colours, and containing a mixture of red and black seats. Try the ones in the middle, on the halfway line - they're padded!   To the right as you enter the ground is an area of shallow terracing with a low, corrugated iron roof, similar to that at Glossop North End. Next to it is a real curiosity which almost defies description. It's a narrow, tall, metal-framed stand with a small upper tier offering the best view in the house and a cabin for the public address announcer. In appearance, it bears some similarity to the TV gantries erected at Welsh Premier League grounds for the benefit of camera crews.   The rest of the ground is open hard standing with a red and white post and rail fence surrounding an immaculate pitch. The dugouts, which had to be extended to meet grading requirements (barmy, isn't it?), are on the far right touchline, their breeze block lines softened by yet more red and white paint. There is spare land to the rear of the main stand, with the housing estate behind a thick hedge, and also beyond the bottom end goal, which is backed by a park. A pleasant, rural landscape of wheat fields rolls away on the other two sides towards low hills on the distant horizion.   Both teams began the season with a defeat last weekend and neither did enough in this game to deserve victory. More perspiration than inspiration. An arm-wrestle absorbing rather than vibrant as the players struggled to retain possession and apply any sustained pressure. Stefan Marshall capitalised on hesitancy in the Boldmere defence to lob the Swans ahead ahead with some aplomb in the 18th minute, and the striker almost doubled the lead soon after with a spectacular diving header. Maxwell Bissell was unlucky not to equalise in the 25th minute when his superbly-struck free-kick from 20 yards rocked the frame of the goal with keeper Tom Gutteridge transfixed.   One of the most incisive moves of the game drew the Mikes level in first-half stoppage time. Skipper David Davies's ball in was knocked across goal by Josh McKenzie for the unmarked Jason Holmes to smash in a crisp volley from 10 yards. It was fitting that Holmes scored for he was the best player on view - confident, composed and classy. A rose among thorns, as Mr Titchmarsh would see it.   The flow of the second half was disrupted by numerous breaks for injuries and substitutions, which kept chances to a minimum and meant the referee felt obliged to add eight minutes to the 45. Most of the thrills came near the end. Mikes sub Jake Morgan flashed a 20-yard volley a couple of yards wide, Steve Gough had a strong penalty claim turned down when visiting keeper Paul Fellows appeared to impede him in the area, and Tom Stevenson almost won it for Boldmere at the death but his powerful header flew the wrong side of the post.   Unlike last season, Stapenhill plan to issue programmes in the wake of their promotion. Their opening effort was not, in all honesty, that great, though it had a striking cover and was printed on glossy paper throughout. The tone of the editorial indicated a friendly club eager to please and keen to progress - an attitude mirrored by everyone I met on an enjoyable first hop of the new campaign.

contributed on 15/08/07