TT No.221: Paul Roth - Saturday 29th March 2008; Kent County League Div 2 West; HALLS vs. HAWKHURST UTD Res: 0-4; Att: 25 idiots; Programme and Entry: N/A; Weather: Rainy, windy & cold.

View matchday images  01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09    I'll let you all into a little secret.....I adore vacuum cleaners!   I've oft mentioned we have a Persian cat, Ben, who sheds his coat at such a prolific rate, that warrants we have in our possession the most efficient such machine money can buy. Imagine my delight then this week when we brought home a spanking new Dyson DC25, from 'Comet'. The suction is so powerful on this mighty beast that I've had to initiate a new vacuuming pattern throughout the house to accommodate the Behemoth. Coupled to this, is the fact that the mechanism comes in the trouser-bulging-inducing colour of purple and I'm sure that you can all palpably feel your own pulses quicken too.    Today I'm at the Bexley Sports and Social Club, in Bexley(!), for my weekly dose of football. Located just off the A2, on the site of the old Bexley Hospital and amid a posh, if somewhat uninspiring new housing estate, this is the not so newish home of Halls FC, who used to play at Princes Park where, of course, Dartford FC now have their swanky new HQ. It's an odd venue actually, as everything here seems to be geared up for rugby (this is the home of BexleyRUFC) and inside the comfortable clubhouse (there is Real Ale if required) there's not a mention of 'Halls FC'.    The football changing rooms block offers a small overhang but virtually no shelter in reality and is set quite a way back, and to the right of the playing area, so on this most inclement afternoon I was about to endure another soaking. As much as I love my Dyson vacuum cleaner, in equal measure, I detest, with a burning, searing, loathing, the wet and cold! You won't often get stinging vitriol from me but when it comes to my third drenching in a week, well...   Horizontal rain and driving wind made play a one way affair, toward the clubhouse end that is, and you can imagine everybody's amazement when Hawkhurst took the lead, scoring in the other net. No ordinary goal this either, I should add. A 25 yard free kick was going ten yards over the bar, when a gust somehow blew the ball downward and into the Hall's net. It was windsheer of a magnitude that would have surely interrupted the flight of a jetliner! The second half was a stroll for the Hawks and it was just a matter of how many more they would add to that freak goal, and with their defence clamped more tightly shut than a mussel's arse, Hall's were never in with a shout. Three more times was the home defence breached in the latter period.   Usually, the wife and I get away to the Canary's in the Winter, but for multifarious reasons we haven't managed it this year. I have to say there were times during this match when I would have rather been at home froo-frooing with our beloved Dyson, than standing in the cold, biting rain getting soaked to the skin once more. Now, let me see, who are Union Deportiva Las Zocas playing next week? Oh yes, at home to Universidad LPGC 'B' tomorrow...   can I get there in time? Not if I fly with BA!   FGIF Rating:  Yet more bloody Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

contributed on 31/03/08