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TT No.101: Andy Gallon - Wed 26th November 2008; Parramore Sports v Parkhouse; CML League Cup Round 1; Res: 3-2; Att: 78 (h/c); Admission: £3; Programme: £1 (28pp); FGIF Match Rating: *** |
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Oh, no. Don Valley Stadium again. My least favourite venue. This was my fourth visit to Attercliffe's plastic palace, having been previously to watch Sheffield Eagles RLFC, Sheffield FC and Rotherham United. The last segment of this unwanted hat-trick was in August, and I drove away from a low-key League Two game against Lincoln City feeling distinctly pleased my shadow would never again darken Don Valley's doors. A few days later, however, I made the gruesome discovery that Central Midlands League newcomers Parramore Sports would be playing their home games at the soulless 25,000-seat athletics stadium this season, and so resigned myself to yet another trip down Meadowhall way. A free Wednesday evening, and no footballing counter attractions within sensible driving distance, provided the opportunity to get Parramores, as they are known, done and dusted.
My opinion of Don Valley, I'm afraid, is set in stone - and therefore unchanged from this season's TT006. It's great, I'm sure, for watching athletics, but hopeless for football, and even worse for rugby league, where the sheer physicality of the action is one of the sport's attractions. As a spectator in the main stand, one is simply too far from what is going on. And when the crowd numbers less than 100, as in the case of Parramores, the main appeal of the experience is its eeriness. It's similar to, but far worse than, seeing a Queen's Park fixture at Hampden. The sensation of detachment is impossible to shake off, with only the distant, echoing shouts of the players providing any form of anchor.
There are compensations for watching Parramores, rather than Rotherham United, at Don Valley. Get there early, and you can take an unofficial guided tour behind the scenes. Head down a flight of steps to the left of the main stand, and you come to reception. Staff seemed quite happy for me to continue into the area beneath the seating tier. This, inevitably low ceilinged, space contains an eight-lane 'carpet' running track. At the far end, a stony faced Mark Aston and his Eagles rugby league squad were getting in some serious pre-season training. Don't ever let anyone allow you to believe anything other than supremely fit athletes play the 13-a-side version of the oval ball code. The workout looked punishingly intense. The first set of double doors on the left takes you into the players' tunnel, with the dressing rooms to the right and left. Keep on, and you get the thrill of walking out to an imaginary roar from an equally fantastical crowd. Back in the bunker beneath the stand, beyond the sweaty Eagles stars glistening under the fluorescent lights, there is a gymnasium, in which more masochists were busily, to coin a phrase, putting their bodies on the line. I'd seen none of this hidden world when I'd come to Don Valley before, so it was something of a bonus.
An early arrival also afforded the opportunity to catch up with Dave Clark, the man behind Parkhouse's fabulous programme, the best in the Central Midlands League. I was able to point him in the right direction of the sales point for the home club's commendable issue. This is in the main stand concourse, which you access via Gate C for Parramores games. It's handy to know because there aren't any signposts. You could spot the first time visitors by the way they wandered with the aimlessness and quiet desperation of lost ramblers. If you are attending a night fixture at Don Valley, you will notice the literal brilliance of the awesome floodlights, which are mounted on 45m towers, and form the most powerful system in the UK.
My chat with Dave elicited two interesting items of information. The kick-off was to be delayed, by 21 minutes, as it turned out, because Parkhouse had arrived with a strip featuring royal blue shorts and socks - the same as their hosts - and someone was dashing back to Clay Cross to collect an alternative. Not that it much mattered because the referee hadn't arrived. This problem was a little trickier, and was solved by an assistent referee taking charge of the game and one of the Parramores contingent running the line. Not the best advert for the professionalism of the CML, but such tales of the unexpected, undoubtedly, are part of the non-league game's haphazard appeal.
A word about Parramore Sports before I get to the meat and two veg of the match. They were formed in 1936, just 12 years after F Parramore & Sons - ironfounders - were incorporated as a limited company, and played works league football until 1972. Progression via the Barnsley Amateur League led, in 1985, to securing a place in the Sheffield area's County Senior League. Parramores won promotion to the CML over the summer, despite not being in the top division of the CSL, and generous sponsorship from Windsor Food Service Ltd allowed them to make the rather unlikely switch to Don Valley Stadium. Secretary Max Ross likes to joke that Rotherham United are sharing with Parramores because the Millers' deal with the venue's operator, Sheffield International Venues, was the later of the two.
You might think me skinny in awarding just three stars to what appears to be a five-goal cup thriller. In truth, it was, for the most part, a humdrum contest. Parramores, unbeaten in the Premier Division of the CML in 12 games this season, were 3-0 up after 38 minutes, and coasting. The Sheffield lads eased off in the second half, and Parkhouse scored twice in 60 seconds with 10 minutes to go. Suddenly, it was game on.
Skipper Paul Billard had forced a smart diving save out of Andy Thornton already before Parramores took a 13th-minute lead. Gavin Willis fired over a free-kick from wide on the left, and Simon Clarke climbed well to glance a 10-yard header into the far top corner. Home keeper Tom Kelk needed two attempts to hold on to a crisp Ant Lynam 20-yarder, and Parramores' Stacey Sharif volleyed over from closer to goal when under pressure from a defender. But Parkhouse were struggling to cope in the air at the back, and Andy Rodgers came up with a carbon (or maybe xerox) copy finish to a Willis corner to make it 2-0 with 28 minutes on the clock. Ten minutes later, Billard took possession in midfield and was given the time and space to unleash a sumptuous 30-yard drive which rose beyond Thornton in unstoppable fashion.
Parkhouse went close just before the hour when Lee Clay was wide with a full-blooded volley, but Parramores almost got a fourth in the 76th minute, only for Thornton to block impressively from Andy Dawson, and substitute Ben Brown to fluff the follow-up. Then, in the twinkling of an eye, three minutes later, the game was turned on its head. Skipper Dave Chambers played in Ash Walters with an astute pass, and the Parkhouse substitute drilled a low shot under Kelk from 12 yards. With Parramores caught off balance and out of shape, Clay, on the left angle of the box, sent a drive zipping across and past a startled Kelk. Thornton then made two brilliant saves to foil first Tom Stubbs (83) and then Andy Peters (87) as the home team went all out to kill off the tie. A minute later, Parkhouse's Lynam was sent off for a late tackle; his second cautionable offence of the evening. Despite being a man light, the visitors almost grabbed a replay, when, two minutes into stoppage time, Clay shot inches wide when well placed on the right side of the box.
So, that was that - and this really must be the final whistle for Don Valley Stadium visits; my lifetime dose of which has been exceeded. Surely. Please don't say it ain't so. I'd hate to become a homing anorak.
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contributed on 27/11/08 |